The Signal - On My Signal, Unleash Hell!

Finding ourselves pretty stumped as to what we should watch, we googled for a list of largely unseen, awesome horror films. We found the The Signal, and it's fair to say that we were ultimately disappointed. I have no doubt that, okay, it was likely to be 'largely unseen', but 'awesome'? To say the label of 'awesome' is generous is a understatement worthy of prosecution. It was largely unseen for a strong reason - its overall averageness. But criticism knows no bounds, so I shall press on regardless to bring you possibly the first negative review of Terror Bites history.

This film is made up of three 'transmissions', each with a different director and very different genre foci. In transmission uno, we get introduced to Mya, who's cheating on her husband Lewis with the surprisingly unattractive Ben. Then all electric appliances begin transmitting a bizarre signal (and guess what - it may even be the very same signal that attracted such a title) which transforms normal people into generally irrational beings with a penchant for slaughter. Mya must escape her apartment before it's all too late. Transmission dos visits a New Year's Eve party hosted by Anna and her husband. Several people drop by, and several are also brutally murdered. This section is largely played for absurd comedy, that is until Lewis drops by convinced Mya is somewhere there. Transmission tres takes itself very seriously indeed, and sees Ben and one of the party attendees (Clark) go to find Mya at the train station. Lewis is there waiting for them with Mya, and we get treated to some psychedelic romantic horror-drama. Mmmm...

I think this project was doomed from the start. So disparate are its parts it ultimately plays out like an anthology, and anyone who has been subjected to one of the godawful ensemble anthologies themed around public holidays (vis New Year's Eve or Valentine's Day) knows that there is a serious lack of character development and coherence. The Signal is no different. It jumps between its elements with little regard for the audience's feelings in the matter. Transmission 1 plays for gore and some thrills, 2 goes for black (very, very black) humour and 3 rounds it out with psychological romantic chills. The different directors bring different skills to the table, and their relative capabilities given the extremely low budget shooting are adequate but just don't really mesh well.

Now onto the cast - they're amateurish in the very sense that they simply aren't professional, but they get the job done. Unfortunately, some felt very unlikeable, like our lead couple Mya and Ben - the latter of whom we're supposed to like despite being a home-wrecker - which is a real shame, as I just never really gave a shit as to what happened to them and their misguided romance. The real stand-out for me was the husband Lewis (A. J. Bowen), who also made an appearance in The House of the Devil. He has the acting chops to pull off a range of the classic rage/jealousy/psychosis emotions and thought processes, but he is such a deep well of humour in the most inappropriate situations (such as murdering a friend's niece) that the film is strengthened by his adroitness when it comes to guilty comedic pleasure. Come to think of it, the second transmission was by far the most impressive acting - Anna, her neighbour Clark and the party guest Jim all nail the fine line between creepy and concerned, with some laugh out loud results.

Those behind the camera do an acceptable job. There are some nice scenes, but there's really nothing in terms of its style that sticks with you long after finishing the movie (aside for an overawing feeling of grungy footage and low budget cameras). Two massive suggestions would have been to cut the opening weirdness (we are met at the door of this opus with a quick snippet of a crappy exploitation and torture flick up until the title screen which goes totally unexplained) and also just remove the partitioning of the film. I appreciate that each director had a different vision and mission, but you can't expect to get away with such blatant emotional manipulation. I think that for the sake of a better film, the helmer of no. 2 should have just taken the reigns of the whole lot and stamped his own brand of absurd humour all over that whole thing, because its fatal mistake was taking itself too seriously in the other sections. On their own, perhaps parts 2 and 3 could have been viable shorts, but when they human centipede the glorious laughs of the middle piece, they look dull in comparison.

Now, the best friend of the masses, child molester and billionaire Albert von Hammerschmidt OBE (just got the OBE recently - make sure you congratulate him when you see him next) will let you know how he felt about The Signal...

Albert von Hammerschmidt OBE's contribution:

Many things in this life come in threes: bad luck, ABC shots, a human centipede and the movie The Signal. By that I mean The Signal has a distinct 3 act structure, with each act done by a different director. This is where my comparison of a human centipede and the movie The Signal ends, as unlike the human centipede the only part in 'The Signal' you want to have anything to do with is the middle piece. The first and third acts are poorly made, boring and I had a complete lack of empathy for any of the characters. However the second act was really quite enjoyable as it took on the tone of an extremely black comedy, which proved very effective. The script in this act is tight and the line delivery suited the tone the writer was going for. If you want my advice, read a brief plot synopsis and watch the second act as a standalone piece. Don't waste your time with act I or III and don't waste your time with sub-standard scotches. Hammerschmidt OBE out.

Judging by von Hammerschmidt's scathing words, it can come as no surprise that I was not pleased on the whole by The Signal. There was potential, sure, but seeing unrealised potential is perhaps more painful than not having it in the first place. I've decided to give The Signal 18 out of a possible 99 marks. If you have half an hour, watch the middle transmission by itself, but overall, the whole package is not really worth witnessing.